This past year has been full of ups and downs.

I’m really grateful for all of it.

I’m 22 years old now and it’s time to make good decisions. This blog reminds me too much of the past and I think it’s time to leave it at that. Things ended up not working between the boy and I, and it really, truly saddens me. But I need to keep moving.

If you read this, at any point of your life, thanks for all the beautiful memories.

I’ll quote my very first blog post here to conclude:

What about love?

Like gravity, it stretches over great distances. Like gravity, it pulls you in and keeps you in orbit.

And you may not even believe in it. You may shun it completely, but you cannot deny that it exists. Because although you may not be able to see or touch it, you can feel it.

You can feel it all around you.

A mother caring for her young. Kids playing hide-and-seek in a playground, laughing like little hyenas. A teacher congratulating his student for doing well in an exam, rewarding him with a comforting smile.

They’re all forms of love.

And we need a little more of that in this world. That is an undeniable fact.

Like gravity, love holds us together.

Thanks so much for holding me together.

I love you.

It’s almost 5 am. I have a day off tomorrow, so that’s definitely the reason why I’m still up. I would’ve been asleep a long time ago had I needed to go to work later today.

There’s nobody awake at home at the moment, not even the dog. You can hear me type into the keyboard quite loudly, since it’s also very silent. It’s not as cold tonight though, which is good. I hate it when it gets too cold.

Things are alright.

Work is going pretty good. I get my first paycheck tomorrow, most of which will go into the bank, but I’ll finally be able to have my own money and spend it however I wish to spend it.

Birthday is this Sunday, so I’m pretty psyched about that. Not exactly sure what we’re doing or who I’m gonna be celebrating with, but all I know is that I’m celebrating with someone and I’ll make the best of it. 22 isn’t such a fantastic event, but birthdays are. It’s a day for you every year. You should always try to make things like that special and that is my aim for this Sunday.

I get out of work at 1 am, so I’ll head straight to my friend’s afterwards and probably get drunk at some bar. He wants to go bar hopping with a few of his other friends, so we’ll probably do that. I hope I don’t get a huge hangover the next day, since I do work Sunday afternoon.

The gym has been non-existent lately, which is a huge bummer. Working has gotten me so lazy and so tired, but I’m still paying for the darn thing, so I might as well go today, since I’m off. Surprisingly, I’ve maintained my weight, despite the frequent sweets I’ve been eating over at the bakery. It’s a good sign that my metabolism has definitely increased. I just need to keep it up.

The boy is great. Spoke to him last night. Got out of work and I just found a nice stood on the East Side and I spoke to him for an hour or so. It was cold outside and I was only wearing a t-shirt, but I didn’t fucking care. Hearing him was soothing.

I feel like every time I mention him, I just wanna go on and on and on about him. And I’m sure that if you’re a frequent reader of this blog, you get sick of me doing that often, haha. I would get sick of me. But I’m just happy when I talk about him. Plain and simple. Just happy.

I mentioned before that he has gotten very busy lately, so we talked about that and I brought up all the things I had in mind and we discussed them. I told him that I thought we were good for each other and he agreed. He said, “We complement each other in a way,” and thinking about it, we sorta do.

I’m a city guy and he’s more suburban. I’m more direct when it comes to things. If something’s on my mind, I just say it. He’s more laidback, doesn’t worry too much, I would say. I’m really positive and he’s more realistic. We balance each other out, I would say. And I like that.

I miss him already. I told him that too. He said he did too. I made him repeat it just because it felt so great hearing it twice. “I miss you too.”

Haha, you know, some girls at my job have been trying to flirt with me lately. It’s funny. I dunno if they know I’m gay, but I might tell them all soon, perhaps this Friday. I’m a nice guy and I wouldn’t to lead them on or anything— some people take being nice as “flirting.” Plus, I have no eyes for another, just that boy from Pennsylvania.

I’m really happy these days, you know? I keep wanting to write here more, but I never have the time. Need to schedule my time better. Or just stop being lazy.

Until next time.

Got 15 minutes to compose this entry.

Started work yesterday and I am already absolutely sick of cupcakes and all thing sweet, haha. However, my co-workers are very nice and friendly. I can see myself holding this job for a few months, but definitely not forever.

This first week of mine will consist mostly of training and learning everything. I got the chance to ice some cupcakes yesterday. There’s this specific design they like to make—a little swirl thing—with the icing, so I spent most of yesterday trying to get that down. Thankfully, with the help of one of my co-workers, Gladys, I was able to learn it. She was amazed, seeing as how most people spent weeks trying to perfect it. I guess I wasn’t wrong when I mentioned that I was a fast learner. haha

My schedule runs from the afternoon ‘til night. They mostly wanted people to close, so I’m pretty sure it’ll be like that most of the times. No complaints though. I did want a job and I wasn’t doing anything most days anyway. I like feeling productive.

Today, I managed to get up early and go to the gym since I start at 3 pm. I think I might just do that from now on: wake up, walk the dog, go to the gym, work, come home, eat and sleep. Sounds horribly boring when you think about it, but I guess I’ll have to enjoy my days off as much as I can.

7 minutes left. Gotta shower and change and head out the door by 2 pm.

I brought Mom some cupcakes last night. It’s really awesome; they let me take a dessert home for every shift I work, so basically one dessert per day. I didn’t eat anything there though. I really did mean it when I said that sweets kinda gross me out now. It’s a pity though, since I do love cheesecake.

Miss talking to my boy too. He’s been so busy lately and now that I have this job, I’ll be busy. I hope we can find some time to catch up and chat every now and then. And see each other too. My birthday’s coming up soon and I kinda wanna celebrate it with him. Dunno yet.

3 minutes now. I think I gotta run. Catch you later!

The best things in life are never planned. They’re spontaneous, they happen with no real reason other than perhaps a gut feeling. This entry that I’m about to write is one of those things.

U-Turn. It’s a popular move used in the Pokemon games to keep the momentum going mid-battle and it’s also a word I’d use to describe everything that’s been happening with me lately. It’s not so much a complete change in direction, like the literal word implies, but instead a boost in magnitude, if you wanna keep the physics-lingo going.

And it feels good. An “out with the bad, in with the good” sorta thing. After I finish this entry, I’ll show the progress I’ve made by going to the gym constantly for five weeks. Tomorrow hits my sixth week, I believe, and you bet I’m not stopping there.

Yesterday was a good day too. I went over to my old high school and saw some of the old teachers there. Did some catching up and even met some of the younger siblings of some of the classmates who graduated with me in 2007. They were all in their 17s or 18s and reminded me so much of the kid I was then—immature, self-conscious, funny, scared to face the world ahead of me. As I left a few of them to meet my friend later that afternoon, I gave them all one advice and it was, “Study hard and don’t give up.”

I may not entirely follow the first bit, haha, but the latter is something I’ve always lived by. And it’s something I always like to inspire in others.

“I wanted the Moon, so I tore down the sky,” one of my friends said to me one day. “It embodies how far I’d be willing to go for somebody I love.” I chose his metaphor as my title because I thought it conveyed the perfect imagery for the message I wanted to say today.

Go for what makes you happy, what makes you feel good.

I saw my boyfriend again on Sunday and man, you don’t know how great it feels to be able to say that. I met his closest friend and we all went to see a movie, Lion King 3D (without the 3D), to be specific. It was fun. We all shared laughs and just had a good time. And of course, I got to see him.

It’s weird. Every time I see him, I get so nervous. I’m definitely working on it, but it makes me rage sometimes, haha. I’m not at all like this with anyone, which says good things, I say. I could honestly, however, spend a whole day just staring at him. His eyes are beautiful. I haven’t told him yet, but I think I’ll tell him the next time I see him. I hope I remember.

Today, I got called back from a job I got interviewed for yesterday. The place is a famous bakery called Magnolia’s Bakery, here in New York City. Everything went well and the manager loved me. She was very sweet. 

I start on Monday at 2 pm. Should be doing that full-time until school starts next semester. I’m pretty excited, it means I’m gonna finally have some money of my own. I’m gonna save some of it for school, of course, and just take the chance to enjoy this new-found independence. Not having to depend one-hundred fully on your folks sounds fantastic right now. I’ll let you know how that first day goes.

Be assertive and persistent, and always logical. Those three qualities should be more than enough to get you near where you want to go in life.

Follow that gut feeling.

A little late, I know, but it’s finally September. Doesn’t feel like it though.

The weather’s getting a little cooler, I’ve noticed, which means that the Fall is arriving soon. The trees will change colors and so will our choice of clothing. Jackets, scarves, jeans, sweaters; all of those will soon come back out of our closets and back inside will go our t-shirts and shorts.

September marks a new beginning again every year; I’m surprised nobody sings about it. It’s always December for them (i.e. Kelly Clarkson’s album, My December, Demi Lovato’s song, “Remember December,” Taylor Swift’s song, “Back to December”). Perhaps it’s just more interesting to sing about the end of the year, instead of going back to school. haha

Normally during this time, I would be at college already, perhaps in my second week, starting classes, buying books, doing my homework at last minute and all that jazz. I’d be excited for the new school year, actually. I love new beginnings (even if they manage to dwindle down and become stressing towards the end of each semester).

This year, however, I feel somewhat of a void in my life now that I’m taking a semester off. It feels different. Heck, call me crazy, but I actually miss school. I miss seeing all of my astronomy professors and laughing with my classmates. And living in a dorm by myself, where I could masturbate at any hour of the day. I don’t miss the stress though.

I’m sure I’ll be back at school before I know it. I once read a quote that said, “Good things fall apart so that better things can come together,” and I feel like this is a lesson that life has taught me over and over again, especially in this past year. I mean, look at how things worked out with that one boy you’ve probably read about once or twice before. Just gotta keep on trying, just gotta keep swimming.

Aside from talking to him and giving us another shot, I’ve been working out like a champ lately and man, I feel really good with the progress I’ve made. I went out for my friend’s birthday a few days ago and I recall three people that night commenting on how I looked. “Have you been working out?” they all would ask and I would just laugh and nod. “You look good!” they would say. 

Just focusing on happiness and doing what feels right, you know?

Next week, I’m planning on taking a trip out to Pennsylvania to visit my boyfriend and just spend the day with him, even if it means sitting at a park all day and just making him laugh. Looking forward to it already.

That’s what’s September’s about, be you at school or at home looking for a job. It’s all about new beginnings, setting new goals for yourself, pushing your limits and focusing on the things and the people that really do matter. Little quarrels and drama? Life’s too short for that.

Let’s do it right this time. Everything.

Remember that post I made awhile ago about my friend (Ireland), the one who loved to smoke weed? Tonight, she drove me to the edge and I completely blew off my top.

We were supposed to go bowling at 9 pm, which meant leaving at least 30 minutes before in order to get there by that time. I sit by her building as she showers and gets ready. I wait and wait and wait around for her. I’m a nice guy and she’s a woman, so I figured she’d be fixing herself up. It couldn’t hurt to be patient.

10:30 comes by and she finally shows up to “leave.” I put that in quotation marks because she then had the magnificent idea of smoking a blunt before going, so she asked me to wait for her a bit longer until she and her friend finished doing their thing.

I said, “Alright.” I was furious by this point.

Passed by this Chinese take-out restaurant and ordered some sesame chicken. I was so pissed off that all I wanted to do was just enjoy a delicious and unhealthy meal. By the time I was done, she still hadn’t called me back, so I said, fuck this. I wasn’t feeling the whole bowling deal anymore anyway, regardless of if we had left at 10:30 pm or not. After waiting hours for this bitch, I knew I was done for that night.

Walked back home after that.

She blasted my phone a few minutes later, like five or six times—even texted me with, “Where are you?” I should’ve responded saying, “Where were you three hours ago when you said you would meet me???” It’s just so ridiculous.

I had drank a few glasses of wine before the whole ordeal, so I didn’t keep it all to myself; I did let her know how I felt. “Next time, please don’t say you’re going to meet me at a certain time and then show up hours later. You do this too often and today was just ridiculous,” I said to her in a text message. She said something afterwards, but I was too upset to really care. I’ll read it again tomorrow.

I never like going to bed upset, so I called up the boy just for a small chat before going to sleep and he made me feel quite better. He’s so dumb, haha. But I’m thankful.

Gonna catch some good dreams tonight. And I assure you, there will be no fucking marijuana in it and bitches will show up on time.

Who the fuck takes 1 hour to dress up to go fucking bowling???